Magic happens when you see a person realize their potential.

I was fortunate to begin my mentoring journey some years ago when my kids were small and their elementary school had a program that needed volunteers to teach in the morning before the school day began.

My friend Amanda and I would use Scratch Programming to teach computer science to students as young as seven and as old as eleven—very young minds.

Scratch is a fantastic tool for young and not-so-young alike to learn programming skills and also build really cool things. I love Scratch because it allows for unlimited creativity while allowing for learning in a structured way.

You can check out Scratch here.

My favorite moments teaching these young students were seeing their lightbulb moments when they figured out how to do something after trying so many times, but did not give up.

A mentor is not the same role as a boss or manager. Occasionally, that can happen, but it is not typical. A great boss keeps you focused on what matters and advocates for the team up the ladder, even when the downward pressure demands the inverse.

A mentor is someone who chooses you or you choose. A mentor represents you at a different point in life. Typically, a mentor shares a lot of common ground with you, such as your gender, profession, leadership style, etc. A mentor shows you truths you would not have access to without them.

I have mentored adults, high school students, and young kids, and the reward in seeing someone realize their own ability is beyond words.

Sometimes you just need someone a few steps ahead of you to believe in you more than you believe in yourself to get to that next place.

Having a mentor has been an absolute game-changer for my life.

Val, my first mentor, coached me through my first negotiations on salary, through leaving a great job for an even greater one that would cause me to grow, and so much more.

She gave me strength to see when I would have otherwise been in the dark.

What was new to me was not new to her, as she has been in the game longer than I have and knows how relevant so much of the negotiation becomes once you have a proven track record and can articulate your wins.

Find a mentor and be a mentor if you can, and in whatever field you are in.

These are human truths, not strictly for the tech world.

This one is eternally difficult for many of us, myself included.

This covers everything from building solutions, creating art, raising children, and working through tough times.

Independence is the north star for many of us who run from the pain inflicted on us by people in our past. It might seem like the golden ticket if you can outrun the hurt, become self-reliant, and not need anyone.

Recipe for burnout (see above).

Maybe, as a path back to loving ourself we need to realize we are fucking amazing on our own and then we can show everyone else.

When you let others see you for the first time, it feels like letting go. The energy you have to output to keep the can-do superstar vibe up all the freaking time is so much better used on the creative work.

Letting go of the singular powerhouse identity is a journey; the length depends on you, but the journey is life, and the path changes when you choose a different way. The way might be the path your people walked, find them.

Create for the ones who hear your message, collaborate with those who've learned your song, and explore the margin of your creative comfort zone through collaboration.

This is the space where it all comes together.

Find your people, the ones who celebrate your victories and who call you when they want to share theirs.

Find the builders, the optimists, the tinkerers, the trailblazers, and the curious.

Trust is built over time. Letting ourselves be vulnerable when we don't know the answer, need to talk it through, or just feel lost is a fast path to figuring out who is good to go through the trenches with and who will have our back and trust us when we need them.

This one goes back to being kind to ourselves.

Cultivating self-empathy builds emotional awareness in ourselves and makes us better collaborators and friends.

Nothing is done alone. We are not built that way.

As I've been reflecting on these times we are in collectively, a pandemic without end—what makes sense is not what is true, what is true is not what is shared, everything is up for question, we need values that come from a deeper place within our Selves.

Our collective knowing of what our species is capable of is deeper than the moment. Creating the work you are born to make will not be easy; you will not set the terms. Instead, you will determine how you react.

Learn your strength enough to believe in it; however long that takes you is right. Once you know, put the armor down.

If you can, before you are so tired, you simply drop it on the floor. You will work on what you love and feel that no one sees you for a long time before one day, you realize you are not walking alone and you aren't as tired either.

Stay curious about your thoughts, your experiences, your passions. Curiosity is what leads us to create the impossible visions of our imagination.

Life is curious, we contain multitudes, expand your aperture, life is happening with every shifting perspective.

Until next time, stay curious and be kind to yourselves!

-Sonia @TheTechMargin