January, Maine

In the northeastern United States, January is a long entry into the coldest part of winter.

Some parts of the country are in spring already or will see their first daffodils in February.

It will be April before there are daffodils where the latitude is above that of the jet stream.

Winter, for those who do not experience its depths, is an inward retreat that is better when embraced rather than resisted.

Audiobooks are company, and walks are encouraged — with fierce reminders from supportive friends and loved ones. We push ourselves to improve and maintain good habits and not to fall into the trap of self-pity (which, for many of us, entails self-destructive cycles; more on that later).

Good books and many avenues to satisfy a curious mind will ensure a well-spent winter. One might find themselves looking forward to the downward and inward arc of winter. I certainly do.

This brings me to self-destructive cycles.

Many winters of my life involved the company of destructive patterns. These patterns are nefarious because we do not see them until they interfere with our lives.

If you look, you will find clues to what your creative mind is seeking. Intuitively, we know that our concept of self must be whole. Your sense of imbalance shows up slowly at first, but the longer it is ignored, the louder the message becomes.

Overachieving and politely raised types tend to ask ever more of ourselves while simultaneously ignoring self-care by failing to nourish our bodies and rest our brains adequately.

This is a self-destructive cycle.

Accompanying a self-destructive cycle is self-destructive behavior by way of <your choice of bad-habit>.

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Awareness is step one to ending the cycle.

Signs of burnout vary but revolve around the loss of passion for once-loved pursuits. Our pursuits are closely tied to our identities, and when challenged, our identities can make us feel like part of ourselves is dying.

Growth begins once you learn to listen to yourself.

Check in with your body first; are you tired? When was the last excellent night’s sleep you had?

Have you consumed alcohol every day for as long as you can remember or shorthand? Would it be unusual for you not to have a drink tonight?

You might be dancing in the darkness of your own destructive cycle, my friend.

Know that if this is you, you are not alone. You are not weird for feeling sad, empty, exhausted, or languishing despite having checked all the boxes.

Some boxes you have checked are so close to you now that you don’t remember how satisfying it was, for example, when you cleared 200k in take-home pay for the first time. The lead up to that moment was a long road.

With awareness, you become curious for answers and seek health without realizing it.

The self-discipline muscle gets strong with use, and the satisfaction in resolve is fun to experience. Taking care of yourself feels good.

Nothing is harder than the simple.

With each iteration, however, the simplest choice becomes the one that tells yourself you care.

For those who wish to explore simple tactics that can be used in everyday life to cultivate mindfulness, TheTechMargin has a new offer.

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That is all for tonight.

Wherever you are, there is nothing to fear in cultivating a deeper relationship with yourself.

Peace My Friends — S

Be kind to yourself; begin now.

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